im makin this CD, forget how its typed up on the comp cause idk who its suppossed to be, just look the rap itself, tell me what u think of me:
freestyle i did today:
ya see we doin this off the top of the head, u as good as dead, call the med, i busted a rap cap, just take a perminit nap, ya deserve a G slap, ya see we the real motha fucka's, cant deal with ya sucka's, thats what ya would think, but i guarntee we dont spill red ink, make ya fearin us, delirious, so dont mess with RD, or ya gon be burried six feet deep or floatin on top of the mediterranian sea
"Enter RD", the song that has the same title as the CD:
its time for you to enter RD, enter the world of me, buy the CD, this aint no freebe, but this off the top of the head, leave ya dead,best heard what i said, the albums famous track, hot crack, dominate like shaq, an AK and a mac, ya shit is wack, skills is what ya lack, im the hottest G in the game so dont say my shit is lame, remember my name, i sign it all, make ya fall, dont stall, an inevedable death, appreciate ya last breath, its like crystal meth, its RD from the 315, 11 and still alive, the best from CNY, whose in line to die, dont cry, dont even try. ya cant contest me so dont try to best me, im gon keep rhymin, that bitch im dimin, so dont f*** wit me, cause im down with a B and a C, i bust this key, bust a cap in ya knee, its all my style so dont put it in an unsolved file, unlike ya murda case, a wild goose chase, like the amazin race, ya just a disgrace, look at ya face, ya cant even trace, ya the biggest fool i ever seen, taken ya to school and smokin the green, ya scared and my rap career is faired, i saw that ya stared, just been demarcus wared. Take ya to the ground, hear the RD sound, click around the round, ya body will neva be found so dont give me those lies, ya gon be the next that dies, ya fleein like flies, remember this is my introduction, a rap game is my main seduction, a rap game domination no longer in construction, we set it and blew it up, no one can screw it up, we just flew it up, we the ones whose ballin, ya'll pretendin G's is fallin, time to enter RD, and see the real me, hook ya up with a dime or a key, ya floatin in the sea, hear the sound of the gun, we goin one on one, now ya done, this rhymin is fun, we've takin ya dignity and ya life, so now we take ya wife, just be glad that its all over, we dont play no games of red rover.
their is a chorus for "Enter RD" just didnt post it, tell me what u think
From a straight up technical stand point, the verse is not really technical at all. I can't see how that'd flow over a beat. There's nothing that shows you have a sense of breath control or bar structure for a song.
From a critical stand point, I don't believe you. Even if you really are an unfuckwithable, stone cold killer, there's a difference between writing aggressively, and blatantly lying. I don't know how old you are or what your life has been like, but you definitely need more experience, and more to talk about than just yourself. If that's what you're really into - being ruthless, and violent - then at least do it in a way that hasn't been done, and that requires more than just an AABB rhyme scheme.
I don't know if this is your first attempt at writing, or what. I don't know what other kinda musical training you have - but for the sake of rap, and it's diminishing quality, do it because you love it, and because you WANT to be good at it - not because you have a misconception of what it should be like.
From a critical stand point, I don't believe you. Even if you really are an unfuckwithable, stone cold killer, there's a difference between writing aggressively, and blatantly lying. I don't know how old you are or what your life has been like, but you definitely need more experience, and more to talk about than just yourself. If that's what you're really into - being ruthless, and violent - then at least do it in a way that hasn't been done, and that requires more than just an AABB rhyme scheme.
I don't know if this is your first attempt at writing, or what. I don't know what other kinda musical training you have - but for the sake of rap, and it's diminishing quality, do it because you love it, and because you WANT to be good at it - not because you have a misconception of what it should be like.
QUOTE (Amen @ Oct 28 2006, 12:30 AM) 
From a straight up technical stand point, the verse is not really technical at all. I can't see how that'd flow over a beat. There's nothing that shows you have a sense of breath control or bar structure for a song.
From a critical stand point, I don't believe you. Even if you really are an unfuckwithable, stone cold killer, there's a difference between writing aggressively, and blatantly lying. I don't know how old you are or what your life has been like, but you definitely need more experience, and more to talk about than just yourself. If that's what you're really into - being ruthless, and violent - then at least do it in a way that hasn't been done, and that requires more than just an AABB rhyme scheme.
I don't know if this is your first attempt at writing, or what. I don't know what other kinda musical training you have - but for the sake of rap, and it's diminishing quality, do it because you love it, and because you WANT to be good at it - not because you have a misconception of what it should be like.
From a critical stand point, I don't believe you. Even if you really are an unfuckwithable, stone cold killer, there's a difference between writing aggressively, and blatantly lying. I don't know how old you are or what your life has been like, but you definitely need more experience, and more to talk about than just yourself. If that's what you're really into - being ruthless, and violent - then at least do it in a way that hasn't been done, and that requires more than just an AABB rhyme scheme.
I don't know if this is your first attempt at writing, or what. I don't know what other kinda musical training you have - but for the sake of rap, and it's diminishing quality, do it because you love it, and because you WANT to be good at it - not because you have a misconception of what it should be like.
AMEN! (no pun-intended!)
Ouch, that was harsh. I wouldn't take it as an insult jetsman, Amen, of all people, knows what he talking about
QUOTE (Amen @ Oct 27 2006, 09:30 PM)
From a straight up technical stand point, the verse is not really technical at all. I can't see how that'd flow over a beat. There's nothing that shows you have a sense of breath control or bar structure for a song.
From a critical stand point, I don't believe you. Even if you really are an unfuckwithable, stone cold killer, there's a difference between writing aggressively, and blatantly lying. I don't know how old you are or what your life has been like, but you definitely need more experience, and more to talk about than just yourself. If that's what you're really into - being ruthless, and violent - then at least do it in a way that hasn't been done, and that requires more than just an AABB rhyme scheme.
I don't know if this is your first attempt at writing, or what. I don't know what other kinda musical training you have - but for the sake of rap, and it's diminishing quality, do it because you love it, and because you WANT to be good at it - not because you have a misconception of what it should be like.
From a critical stand point, I don't believe you. Even if you really are an unfuckwithable, stone cold killer, there's a difference between writing aggressively, and blatantly lying. I don't know how old you are or what your life has been like, but you definitely need more experience, and more to talk about than just yourself. If that's what you're really into - being ruthless, and violent - then at least do it in a way that hasn't been done, and that requires more than just an AABB rhyme scheme.
I don't know if this is your first attempt at writing, or what. I don't know what other kinda musical training you have - but for the sake of rap, and it's diminishing quality, do it because you love it, and because you WANT to be good at it - not because you have a misconception of what it should be like.
ouch. such a deep burn. why don't u just kill the kids dog? lol.
but a iagree with the last line. u make music cause u love doing it. regardless of what type of music it is. u don't make music to be cool or cause your friends do it. music is made out of passion more then anything.
QUOTE (Jetsfan115 @ Oct 28 2006, 05:57 PM)
ouch. such a deep burn. why don't u just kill the kids dog? lol.
but a iagree with the last line. u make music cause u love doing it. regardless of what type of music it is. u don't make music to be cool or cause your friends do it. music is made out of passion more then anything.
but a iagree with the last line. u make music cause u love doing it. regardless of what type of music it is. u don't make music to be cool or cause your friends do it. music is made out of passion more then anything.
i dont do it cause those reasons, i do it just cause i like rapping
QUOTE (JetsMan4012 @ Oct 28 2006, 04:30 PM)
i dont do it cause those reasons, i do it just cause i like rapping
then who cares what people think/ just keep doing it of you enjoy it. u cnn make your PC a home studio with a mic and a copy of acid. i make R&B songs to get in womens pants and it works like a charm. all the wrong reasons lol.
I wasn't trying to insult the kid at all. That's definitely not my intention. I just wanted to offer criticism that was strong enough to help him realize he'll need to step his game up. I'm not some God MC, and I'm definitely not too keen on the mentor role - I don't give pointers. This is the kinda craft where practice does improve you.. at least, I hope. I remember what my first attempts were like and still have some of those old sheets. It's just that being someone involved in this music, and seeing people constantly pop up into the scene and claiming to be something they're not gets tiresome.
I'm all for some violence and ignorance in music. M.O.P. is one of my favorite rap groups of all time. But there's gotta be an extra, intangible factor that's definitely not going to be realized through lyrics. You can go to ohhla.com and search for M.O.P. lyrics and say Lil Fame is wack based on the text - but the deciding factor is in the music. On a sidenote, I don't even think Lil Fame is wack lyrically.. can be simple, but not wack.
Regardless, I'm pretty sure Jetman is a very young kid. I gave you some insight to the ropes when you asked how you can actually record yourself in that post like a month ago. The only advice I can truly offer is to be yourself with your lyrics. Turn on the radio, buy a mixtape. A lot of rappers are sayin' the same shit. They're not all wack, but do you wanna be the first you, or the next them? Don't write about murdering niggas, when you're not a murderer. And even if you REALLY are a murderer... still don't write about it. Be yourself but be creative.
It's not gonna happen overnight. I'm gonna be 23 next week - having been writing consistently for a little over 7 years, and recording consistently for a little over 4. Yeah, this music is entertainment for the most part, but music falls under the art category, and that groups it in with personal expression. With experience comes newer insight. There are ways to be aggressive on a song without being a blatant liar. The key isn't really in what you say, it's in how you say it. But at the same time, you really need to be cautious of what you say. Bein a man on a record isn't about comin' off as the toughest *beep* on the block. Bein' able to man up is recordin a track, and bein' able to ask your mother to listen to it without being ashamed of anything you just said.
I'm all for some violence and ignorance in music. M.O.P. is one of my favorite rap groups of all time. But there's gotta be an extra, intangible factor that's definitely not going to be realized through lyrics. You can go to ohhla.com and search for M.O.P. lyrics and say Lil Fame is wack based on the text - but the deciding factor is in the music. On a sidenote, I don't even think Lil Fame is wack lyrically.. can be simple, but not wack.
Regardless, I'm pretty sure Jetman is a very young kid. I gave you some insight to the ropes when you asked how you can actually record yourself in that post like a month ago. The only advice I can truly offer is to be yourself with your lyrics. Turn on the radio, buy a mixtape. A lot of rappers are sayin' the same shit. They're not all wack, but do you wanna be the first you, or the next them? Don't write about murdering niggas, when you're not a murderer. And even if you REALLY are a murderer... still don't write about it. Be yourself but be creative.
It's not gonna happen overnight. I'm gonna be 23 next week - having been writing consistently for a little over 7 years, and recording consistently for a little over 4. Yeah, this music is entertainment for the most part, but music falls under the art category, and that groups it in with personal expression. With experience comes newer insight. There are ways to be aggressive on a song without being a blatant liar. The key isn't really in what you say, it's in how you say it. But at the same time, you really need to be cautious of what you say. Bein a man on a record isn't about comin' off as the toughest *beep* on the block. Bein' able to man up is recordin a track, and bein' able to ask your mother to listen to it without being ashamed of anything you just said.
i didnt take offense to him saying what he said, i used to be on rap verse but i didnt like how u had to say something about some1 elses rap first to get an opinion on urs. i got a bit of critisism their but i was expecting it, so its nothing new. their r ppl who think that im bad their r ppl who think that im great, i dont plan on being a rapper, i want to be a sports writer, this is just for fun and i can get a couple bucks so y not. yea i like rap and im deffinetly not doin it just cause other ppl do it, im one of those ppl who doesnt follow the crowd. allot of my school is preps, and i HATE preppy style, allot of the clothing seems gay to me(no offense to any1 who wears it) and i jsut flat out dont like it, its not me.
QUOTE (Amen @ Oct 28 2006, 08:00 PM)
Bein' able to man up is recordin a track, and bein' able to ask your mother to listen to it without being ashamed of anything you just said.
Thats a hell of a quote.
QUOTE (ganggreen_ewok @ Oct 29 2006, 04:03 PM)
Thats a hell of a quote.
my mom doesnt even know i listen to rap, none the less rap and she hates rap nonethe less, i hate most rap anyways.
then...this is wierd.
Me and my friend just finished a rap CD today, we aint serious about it, but we were making fun of some kids who take it REAL serious. and have no flow or nohing..and I listened to AMENs stuff, so whatever he says is right. cuz his stuff is sweet
Me and my friend just finished a rap CD today, we aint serious about it, but we were making fun of some kids who take it REAL serious. and have no flow or nohing..and I listened to AMENs stuff, so whatever he says is right. cuz his stuff is sweet
QUOTE (JetsMan4012 @ Oct 27 2006, 10:36 PM)
im makin this CD, forget how its typed up on the comp cause idk who its suppossed to be, just look the rap itself, tell me what u think of me:
freestyle i did today:
ya see we doin this off the top of the head, u as good as dead, call the med, i busted a rap cap, just take a perminit nap, ya deserve a G slap, ya see we the real motha fucka's, cant deal with ya sucka's, thats what ya would think, but i guarntee we dont spill red ink, make ya fearin us, delirious, so dont mess with RD, or ya gon be burried six feet deep or floatin on top of the mediterranian sea
"Enter RD", the song that has the same title as the CD:
its time for you to enter RD, enter the world of me, buy the CD, this aint no freebe, but this off the top of the head, leave ya dead,best heard what i said, the albums famous track, hot crack, dominate like shaq, an AK and a mac, ya shit is wack, skills is what ya lack, im the hottest G in the game so dont say my shit is lame, remember my name, i sign it all, make ya fall, dont stall, an inevedable death, appreciate ya last breath, its like crystal meth, its RD from the 315, 11 and still alive, the best from CNY, whose in line to die, dont cry, dont even try. ya cant contest me so dont try to best me, im gon keep rhymin, that bitch im dimin, so dont f*** wit me, cause im down with a B and a C, i bust this key, bust a cap in ya knee, its all my style so dont put it in an unsolved file, unlike ya murda case, a wild goose chase, like the amazin race, ya just a disgrace, look at ya face, ya cant even trace, ya the biggest fool i ever seen, taken ya to school and smokin the green, ya scared and my rap career is faired, i saw that ya stared, just been demarcus wared. Take ya to the ground, hear the RD sound, click around the round, ya body will neva be found so dont give me those lies, ya gon be the next that dies, ya fleein like flies, remember this is my introduction, a rap game is my main seduction, a rap game domination no longer in construction, we set it and blew it up, no one can screw it up, we just flew it up, we the ones whose ballin, ya'll pretendin G's is fallin, time to enter RD, and see the real me, hook ya up with a dime or a key, ya floatin in the sea, hear the sound of the gun, we goin one on one, now ya done, this rhymin is fun, we've takin ya dignity and ya life, so now we take ya wife, just be glad that its all over, we dont play no games of red rover.
their is a chorus for "Enter RD" just didnt post it, tell me what u think
freestyle i did today:
ya see we doin this off the top of the head, u as good as dead, call the med, i busted a rap cap, just take a perminit nap, ya deserve a G slap, ya see we the real motha fucka's, cant deal with ya sucka's, thats what ya would think, but i guarntee we dont spill red ink, make ya fearin us, delirious, so dont mess with RD, or ya gon be burried six feet deep or floatin on top of the mediterranian sea
"Enter RD", the song that has the same title as the CD:
its time for you to enter RD, enter the world of me, buy the CD, this aint no freebe, but this off the top of the head, leave ya dead,best heard what i said, the albums famous track, hot crack, dominate like shaq, an AK and a mac, ya shit is wack, skills is what ya lack, im the hottest G in the game so dont say my shit is lame, remember my name, i sign it all, make ya fall, dont stall, an inevedable death, appreciate ya last breath, its like crystal meth, its RD from the 315, 11 and still alive, the best from CNY, whose in line to die, dont cry, dont even try. ya cant contest me so dont try to best me, im gon keep rhymin, that bitch im dimin, so dont f*** wit me, cause im down with a B and a C, i bust this key, bust a cap in ya knee, its all my style so dont put it in an unsolved file, unlike ya murda case, a wild goose chase, like the amazin race, ya just a disgrace, look at ya face, ya cant even trace, ya the biggest fool i ever seen, taken ya to school and smokin the green, ya scared and my rap career is faired, i saw that ya stared, just been demarcus wared. Take ya to the ground, hear the RD sound, click around the round, ya body will neva be found so dont give me those lies, ya gon be the next that dies, ya fleein like flies, remember this is my introduction, a rap game is my main seduction, a rap game domination no longer in construction, we set it and blew it up, no one can screw it up, we just flew it up, we the ones whose ballin, ya'll pretendin G's is fallin, time to enter RD, and see the real me, hook ya up with a dime or a key, ya floatin in the sea, hear the sound of the gun, we goin one on one, now ya done, this rhymin is fun, we've takin ya dignity and ya life, so now we take ya wife, just be glad that its all over, we dont play no games of red rover.
their is a chorus for "Enter RD" just didnt post it, tell me what u think
you really down with the B's and C's?? do they even have them in syracuse?
actually yes, bloods r in my neighborhood. but anyways, yea ive gotten just a bit better i think from this topic, almost done with my CD just need to do this track with this one guy and hes just got one verse on that song. and the 2nd CD im gonna have allot of ppl on it from in my neighborhood, this one tracks gonna have 4 or 5 other ppl on it along with me. also wow im surprised some1 brought this topic back up. and i was j/w opinions, i know allot of ppl who live in my neighborhood and r in my school think im good so it should sell a little and its cheap so
QUOTE (JetsMan4012 @ Mar 31 2007, 06:09 PM)
actually yes, bloods r in my neighborhood. but anyways, yea ive gotten just a bit better i think from this topic, almost done with my CD just need to do this track with this one guy and hes just got one verse on that song. and the 2nd CD im gonna have allot of ppl on it from in my neighborhood, this one tracks gonna have 4 or 5 other ppl on it along with me. also wow im surprised some1 brought this topic back up. and i was j/w opinions, i know allot of ppl who live in my neighborhood and r in my school think im good so it should sell a little and its cheap so
in syracuse? please. its probably posers. when u said that it reminds me of this
QUOTE (Jetsfan115 @ Mar 31 2007, 10:31 PM)
in syracuse? please. its probably posers. when u said that it reminds me of this
"It's hardcore up in tha 'Bu y'all, but it's just part of the everyday struggle"
lol I'm not even a thug or anything like that...but being from Harlem, I would love to have the Syracuse Bloods come down here
does any1 know how to or know of a free program that wont get me a virus that would be legal that can convert files that are .wav to MP3 so i can create a music myspace page or submit something to this rap competition
QUOTE (HarlemHellfighterNYC @ Mar 31 2007, 10:03 PM)
"It's hardcore up in tha 'Bu y'all, but it's just part of the everyday struggle"
lol I'm not even a thug or anything like that...but being from Harlem, I would love to have the Syracuse Bloods come down here
Stop trippin HHF, you know you are thuggin.
QUOTE (JetsMan4012 @ Mar 31 2007, 08:09 PM)
actually yes, bloods r in my neighborhood. but anyways, yea ive gotten just a bit better i think from this topic, almost done with my CD just need to do this track with this one guy and hes just got one verse on that song. and the 2nd CD im gonna have allot of ppl on it from in my neighborhood, this one tracks gonna have 4 or 5 other ppl on it along with me. also wow im surprised some1 brought this topic back up. and i was j/w opinions, i know allot of ppl who live in my neighborhood and r in my school think im good so it should sell a little and its cheap so
Hahahahahhaahahahahah....wait....hahhahahahaha thats too funny. Technically there are "Bs & Cs" in austin but they are all mostly white *beep* posers, I assume the same in your town. Also, aren't you like twelve? And you are "gangbangin?" What happened to pokemon?
QUOTE (JetsMan4012 @ Apr 1 2007, 12:12 PM)
does any1 know how to or know of a free program that wont get me a virus that would be legal that can convert files that are .wav to MP3 so i can create a music myspace page or submit something to this rap competition
Everybody needs to learn how to use torrent
i am 15 and im gonna say that i myself am not in a gang but i am friends with allot of ppl who r, and i wouldnt want to be in a gang cause then u got specific ppl after u just for shit like wearing a certain color or w/e
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Amewn cheeeeeeeeeezed you -Realtalk!!=----- we all styklubn on you accept it!!!
i do admit, i was bad back then, not horrible but bad, my rhymes were basic and my concepts sucked, but i think im good now, not great but good/solid.
oh and i remembered when ewok said i should go on datpiff to see if ppl who know rap like my raps...theirs 3 'crews' on that site; untouchables, uprise and yung godz, im now a yung god
oh and i remembered when ewok said i should go on datpiff to see if ppl who know rap like my raps...theirs 3 'crews' on that site; untouchables, uprise and yung godz, im now a yung god
lmfao, you continue to amuse me, keep it up
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